5 – THE NONPHYSICAL
THE SOURCE AND THE THIAOOUBANS
A very prominent experience is that of meeting what I called The Source. I was in a very depressed state at the time and wanted reassurance there was something more, or comfort from something higher. I had an idea of “The Source,” some universal source of being. I wanted to meet It. I sought both “within and without” for The Source – I wasn’t exactly sure where to find it. I got into a kneeling position, placed my overlapping hands onto the floor, and then my forehead to the back of the top hand. I simultaneously went into the depths of my being and into the far reaches of existence, searching for The Source. I intended, willed, and searched. Suddenly I was before a large spherical object that was starry radiant. But it radiated shards of itself that were as thick filaments of light, in all directions. The filaments remind me of thick pencils, except the source of the radiation as well as the filaments themselves were made of pure love and pure acceptance.
The waves of love and acceptance hit me, and I was awash with it. I became aware of my physical body again as I began physically to wipe tears from my eyes, while simultaneously being aware afloat before this radiant source of total love and total acceptance. Its constant waves of love and acceptance seemed to reach into my being. It started to lighten upon my self-consciousness, and the parts of myself that didn’t like me. I tried to barricade my inner recesses to it, but that didn’t work. It passed through every barrier and all my defenses, and yet all I found was pure love and total acceptance, even as it got to the core of me. Then it seemed to pass through me, and unneeded layers of my aura were seemingly blown off or carried away, as the constant radiation of love and acceptance moved through and past me – like how solar radiation blasts away parts of a comet. I went to The Source three days in succession, and the experience was very similar each time.
Immediately after meeting The Source I directed my attention to the Thiaooubans. They are purportedly a race of extremely highly advanced extraterrestrial beings that Michel Desmarquet met and was taken with on a journey to other planets, and to learn of other civilizations. They are supposed to represent the most advanced level of development in the universe. I had my doubts according to some things he related, such as that Y’shua (Jesus) was a member of their race that they planted here. Yet his book is still an interesting and informative read. I perceived myself going through outer space at enormous speeds, with stars moving past me like street lamps on the side of the road. I came to a stop after 10 or so seconds of travel and could perceive a smaller source of love and acceptance in space, which I discerned to be a planet in the distance. I stayed at a very high orbit away from it. I perceived the planet as a much smaller sphere radiating love and acceptance, just as The Source.
Some of the revelations in Michel’s book Abduction to the 9th Planet or The Thiaoouba Prophecy are quite at odds with some ways I know (or believe I know) reality to be. Thus, I do question how valid this planetary perception is. When I did distance calculations according to how many stars, I estimate I passed I came to about 225 light years of travel. I find that the Pleiadian system is about 400 light years away, which could mean I simply found a planet of the same quality as the type I was seeking (advanced), though not the one he mentions, if it exists. At the speeds I was traveling a slight error in estimation – for instance of how many stars I passed, or the actual distance between the stars I passed, or how long I flew – could easily account for the discrepancy of a few hundred light years. Perhaps I’ll go back or attempt cross-validation with another OBE explorer or through other means.
I spoke with Albert Taylor briefly about such experiences as my Source visit – in his book Soul Traveler he speaks of a similar experience. After repeated visits he found his source entity to be his own higher self. Kurt Leland also shares a similar experience in his book Otherwhere. He was informed by a nonphysical entity that the source entity he perceived was the collective higher self of humanity.
A very potent series of books have been written by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer, channeling spirit entities called Orin and DaBen. There was a period of my life when I studied their books intently – and I still reference them regularly to this day. They help me greatly in many ways. I sought to meet with Orin and DaBen through the out-of-body experience and did manage to see Orin. I didn’t discern or perceive a definite form, but more like an “energy personality essence” to borrow the phraseology of Seth (channeled by Jane Roberts). We had a brief interaction in a wooded nonphysical area that looked like a field or park.
ASTRAL CORD EXPERIENCE, MAYBE
I’ve never come across what has been termed the astral cord, a supposed perceptible link between the nonphysical body and the physical body. But one time when I practiced my relax-move technique I had experience of what could be the base of the cord. I became aware in pre-OBE paralysis and relaxed and moved into an OBE. I rolled off the bed onto the floor, feeling heavy like moving through molasses, and continued crawling towards the bedroom door. It felt like I was moving under water and that my strength was limited, so my greatest effort was still in slow motion. As I neared my dresser, I felt a strong sense of protrusion or intrusion on the back of my nonphysical head, at the base of my nonphysical skull. It felt like something made of many strong cords or fibers was penetrating the base of my head, at the cerebellum region of my head. I could perceive or intuit a strong cable made of a multitude of interwoven steel-like cords or fibers. I have a strong visual image even now of what I sensed. I soon lost awareness, ending the experience.
I reached a deep meditative state and perceived as if through a large portal or window into another dimension. Suddenly I was in that dimension, stuck in a position as if still sitting in the chair I was sitting in physically. My positioning was tilted forward, such that if the physical chair were tipped forward like that, I would fall out of it. I was floating or moving down a street – and looking upon the scene as if floating off to the side of my seated self. I was simultaneously maintaining two nonphysical perspectives. I saw two beings ahead of seated me on the road, made of fire, or made such that flames danced on them as part of their nature.
TUBE ENTITY PROJECTION
I applied a technique of Sylvan Muldoon’s by creating a sense of thirst and going to sleep, with intent to seek water in the dream and become lucid through the effort. I placed a large glass of water on the kitchen counter, after not drinking anything for a few hours. I glared at the water, thinking of how good it would taste, how thirst-quenching it would be, and then went to sleep. At some point I was drinking water from a water fountain on the side of a main street where I lived called Chef Menteur (also in New Orleans). I became consciously aware at noticing the odd location of the water fountain, and the fact that I was apparently there in the middle of the night! I teleported spontaneously to different areas and ended up semi-lucid on Read Boulevard.
I saw a man skulking towards me, aware he intended to rob me. I was dreamy enough to see this as a threat, yet lucid enough to be aware that I could fly and get away. I let him get close to me, and then took off in flight, heading towards an interdimensional portal I perceived down a side street or alley off Read Blvd. I saw someone in the way, so I flew around this person, just as the would-be mugger shot at me. I shielded myself behind the person on the street, to my own surprise at such a selfish act, and then I flew through the portal into another dimension.
I saw a plane flying, the kind with a single propeller and double set of wings. I dodged the bullet which made it through the portal, and took a swooping dive downward, seeing that I was high above an expanse of water. As I made that dive, I could gut-wrenchingly feel the sensation of the direction change and dive. What looked like speedboats were skimming the water in a wide area, and an announcer seemed to be announcing a race. The boats skimmed around tall rock spires protruding from the water’s surface.
Suddenly the “boats” started diving underwater, and I realized they can’t be mere boats. I flew down underwater to see what was going on, and the immersion into water jolted me to full nonphysical lucidity. I could feel the coolness and resistance of the water, and suddenly realized I had limbs. Before this point, after entering this new realm, I was like a floating field of conscious awareness, my limbs being only faintly noticeable. Now I could feel my nonphysical humanoid form quite clearly, immersed in this cool, fluid, nonphysical ocean of water.
The “boats” were apparently some kind of creature or being, which looked like a large oblong organism composed of a conglomeration of tubes. If you would imagine a black ball of yarn, but instead of being round being shaped instead like a very tall, thin pear lying on its side; this is what they were shaped like. After observing the creatures or beings for some time one swam right beside me, much to my surprise. I could sense or perceive intelligence or conscious awareness in the being, as if it was observing me as much as I was observing it.
I became aware of a portal or teleportation mechanism towards the base of one of the rock spires. I went and nestled myself into the portal, and suddenly experienced myself back in the physical body.
I was living on Flood Street in New Orleans – Okanos was still robed and unidentified at the time. I used to practice altered states daily at this time, developing the “technique barrage” framework I often use to project. Currently, I was using deep relaxation and meditation, tactilely imagining myself as a point of awareness circling the room along the walls, and visualization of shapes and colors to hold my awareness intact.
I had an energetic experience like butterflies were swimming through my body. It was a very curious experience. I also experienced something like Novocain starting in my neck, and moving down through my arms, my torso, and down my legs. Wherever this cool flow of energy went became instantly paralyzed and numb. I broke out of it and relaxed, and repeatedly observed this paralyzing occurrence. I started to get very strong imagery, and I began to see a sort of parchment with strange alien-like writing on it. Soon I saw a being wearing a purple hooded robe at some distance away from me, his entire head and his hands covered by the robe. He was showing me the writing. I would eventually become very familiar with this being – the Okanos.
I floated up out of body a few inches and experienced myself hovering about 3 inches off the bed, still interpenetrating the physical body. I experimented with this, floating up and feeling myself light and airy and fully conscious, and then floating down and reintegrating with the physical body, and experiencing the heaviness and numbness and sleepiness of the physical body. I floated up and tried to throw myself away from the physical body violently, trying to backflip out. I experienced myself spinning backwards in place as a point of consciousness, like a ball rolling quickly in the water that was my nonphysical body, which itself was hovering interpenetrating my physical body. But I as a point of consciousness didn’t budge completely from either body. I lost awareness but, in the morning, I vaguely remembered nonphysically making it through the front door and walking across the lawn, looking back at the house.
I was focused on trying to project and suddenly became aware of being poked. I felt agitated that I was being disturbed in my practice, and at one point literally pushed at what was poking me as if to yell “leave me alone.” Suddenly I realized I must have just pushed away with my nonphysical arm! I opened my nonphysical awareness to see that I was floating horizontally about three or four feet off the ground in a nonphysical dimension. There were two or three beings milling about me, perhaps just curious, the most prominent of which made of boxes of various colors. Imagine a being with a torso, arms, legs, and head, but each limb made of 4 or 5 boxes tapering down to the smallest box at the conclusion of the limb, the torso comprised of 4 or 5 boxes as well. Each box was a different color, colors repeating in 2 or 3 boxes at the most.
A difficult lesson to learn is that during practice one can disengage from the physical body and not even realize it. The more one practices the faster and easier the transition into deeper states of consciousness, and thus into the out-of-body experience – even to the point of the transition being imperceptible.
There was a certain period during my practices where during altered states I would hear a multitude of voices. I’d reach a level like what Robert Monroe spoke of where he heard thought-noise. He spoke of a depth of altered state at the frequency of thought of humanity, “M-band” noise. It was like being in a room full of light conversation. A voice started to stick out, a woman’s voice asking me to meet her. I’d sometimes get vague images of how she looked. I began to telepathically communicate to her to help me get out of body. In response one time during deep trance when I seemed unable to move away from my physical body she flew upward through the bed and tried to catapult me out by ramming into me. She flew up into my nonphysical back, and my nonphysical torso stretched up to the ceiling. It was as if my nonphysical head and my nonphysical feet were stuck to their physical counterparts, but the rest of me bowed up like a tent. She rammed several times to no avail.
A bit after midnight I did a 4-2 and stillness meditation, and then an energy working session. I achieved an altered state with brief flashes of visual imagery. After getting up and engaging in a series of physical world activities I lay down again at 2:00 AM, relaxing and not anticipating or intending much OBE practice until later. The alarm was set for 5:30 AM, to wake up and practice then. At between 3:30 AM and 4 AM I became acutely aware of the inability to move, as well as that someone was in the room, near the bedroom door. I became quite agitated, wanting to get up to address this intruder, and tried desperately to move but was stuck steadfast. Then I had the thought that this must be the OBE paralysis, and that I could project first briefly before addressing the intruder. But then I realized the importance of addressing the intruder and just tried to move and get up. I struggled vainly, trying to pry myself up from the bed. Then I seemed able to move a bit, but still could not wake up completely. Eventually I was able to physically move and looked about to room. I noticed first off that the room I perceived when I was in paralysis was much bigger than the actual bedroom. The actual bedroom looked small by comparison. And there was no one in the room. It was a nonphysical dweller.
I fell or went back to sleep to a vivid dream, and at one point of the dream I could float. I felt a floating feeling which pulled me up from the floor, and I glided forward slowly, crashing into the floor after I bumped into a table. The crash was slow and painless, and I laughed it off with everyone, secretly priding the fact that I could fly; believing this was physical. I got up, still interested in my newfound ability to float and glide, laughing with others as I allowed myself to float up and put my hand down, doing a one-handed handstand supported mostly by my floating.
Someone I was living together with at the time who I taught to have an OBE also had an experience of someone in the room near the door. She was in paralysis as well when she saw him, and then relaxed-rolled into an OBE. If I remember right, she still saw someone there during the full OBE state.
THE GUIDE PLANE
During a time of intense interaction with Okanos he told me of an area of the nonphysical called the Guide Plane. On this level were spirit guides to incarnate entities. I became aware in a space that was made of golden light. The ground surface and the beings there were all golden light. I asked how they came to know they were wanted as a guide. He said that on that level our intent is as physical as a physical object here, and they can clearly perceive the intent for a guide, or for assistance. My attention was drawn to a certain area of the ground surface that grew upward into a conical shape. This, I was told, was the intention for guidance or assistance. A guide walked over to the cone and touched it, and there was a brilliant flash. This individual had made connection with a guide.
I reached a deep altered state and rolled out of the physical body. I crawled nonphysically towards a wall of my bedroom, intending to crawl through the wall and fall onto the stairs on the other side of the wall. While crawling I saw a three-dimensional shape in the air, in the shape of a merkaba – two tetrahedrons inversely interpenetrating each other. It was not a solid shape but an outline, like energy straws glued together.
SOURCE SELF VISUALIZATION
Taken with the idea of a greater consciousness that we as individuals are a fragment of, I endeavored to explore this. I’d read about it in the works of Jane Roberts and Seth, called the Source Self; Robert Monroe called it the I-There. A source consciousness deposits fragments of itself into time-space as incarnate individual beings – each source consciousness depositing several aspects simultaneously throughout time-space. The individual self is just a part of this larger consciousness. Some call this source consciousness the higher self and define spiritual growth as learning to perceive from the multi-incarnational higher self’s perspective, just as some define enlightenment as seeing from the universal or planetary higher self’s perspective.
I went into a state of meditation and attempted to see through imagination, and became aware in a void-type area, with bluish-white octopus type entities floating about, which I recognized as source selves. They had a round central area, with tentacle-like protrusions extending from them, each protrusion ending in a physical incarnation. And these lower level source selves were also extensions of a greater source self, which were also each one of several extensions of an even greater source self. There were several tiers of higher selves, on up to the highest source self that is the one mind projecting all minds.
It’s necessary to trust perceptions when exploring. In subsequent trips to this level of existence I perceived another detail of the source self’s makeup, a circle of energy under its bulbous body. Thinking I was just imagining things I blew the perception off, but when I made a drawing of the source self and sent it to another explorer (the same one who drew the Akashic records room), he sent a drawing back adding this circle underneath – saying that I’d left it out of my drawing – calling it an “energy spread” that is under each source self.
I lay down and started to do relax-move but was too lazy to move. I went to combining ‘arm-up’ and relaxation techniques, and eventually to just relaxing. I fell asleep to vivid dreams – this was a period of frequent practice and my dreams had been vivid. At one point I couldn’t see but I felt the house cat named Emerald biting my fingers very hard. This alerted me to my altered state, but I thought the cat bite was physical. I considered that I was in a deep altered state but aware of (what I thought were) physical body sensations. I thought that I could initiate an OBE but wanted to make sure my fingers were not damaged. I went to trying to get the cat to let go of my fingers, while moving as little as possible. I wrestled with this, all the while recognizing that I was in an altered state and trying to maintain it. I realized I couldn’t get the cat off my fingers in this state, and the pricks of its bite were hurting. I needed to wake up to get the cat off. I tried to wake up and for a while I couldn’t. I fought through and awoke, darting up to address the cat – but there was no cat. It was all imagined or could be a nonphysical experience with a nonphysical cat-like entity – perhaps even the actual cat in question during an animal OBE.
This is a good illustration of how our perceptions and cognitions can be inaccurate – I was certain the biting was physical, it seemed so logical, relevant, and accurate. And it’s interesting how in deep altered states we may overlook apparent physical dangers, for instance considering continuing the altered state practice even though a cat may be nibbling my fingers, or even though a burglar might be in the room as in other experiences. I think this is because on some level we know there’s no physical danger, and that we are perceiving nonphysically.
During relaxation and meditation, I had good imagery, or was lucid in a dream. I was aware that I could go OBE. I rolled out and felt slight vibrations as I seemed to automatically angle up to a standing position. I was in the living room of my apartment, right outside my bedroom door. I thought of exploring past lives (I’d been reading Many Lives, Many Masters), but decided to practice nonphysical walking. I got as far as the middle of the living room and then was somewhere else. I was in a building or office. Several times I looked at my hands – they stretched lengthwise as I did so – and then soon I fell into a dream. I awoke thinking I needed to be more focused on my OBE task. Another night I awoke and couldn’t get back to sleep, partly due to noisy neighbors. I decided to get up and play video games and practice again later. At 6 AM I lay for practice, with the alarm set to go off in 30 minutes. I got sleep-comfortable and relaxed, making sure to breathe – lately I’d focus on relaxing on the exhale, and exhale more than inhale. This time I just let myself breathe fully and relaxed around breathing rather than insufficiently breathing.
I started getting light imagery. I relaxed and focused into it and got full screen imagery, like a full screen movie. I was eventually full-fledged in the imagery, like in a lucid dream. I felt quite amused and accomplished, and proceeded to OBE out of the imagery. I relaxed and moved, and felt the characteristic heaviness and sinking, and I visually perceived an environmental shift, yet felt that I was still trapped in imagery and attached to my physical body. I went with the situation since it seemed to look like my living room. I stood up and decided to fly outside. I turned my back to the sliding patio doors and pushed myself backwards as if pushing myself while in a swimming pool, intending that I’ll go through the glass doors (and not to a different dimension as often happened when trying to go through doors). I made it outside. But “outside” was like the backyard of the house I lived in as a kid and not my current physical location! I lifted up and away into the air, and at this point I seemed to lose awareness.
ARM UP, BODY DROP
One time I practiced the ‘arm-up’ technique while relaxing deeply, and suddenly my forearm fell and hit the blanket. With no loss or decrease in awareness I realized that my physical body just fell asleep and fell off me. I was lying there conscious and shocked at the unusual separation, and just lay there until I lost awareness.